Posted by: Dawud Israel | December 16, 2008

Arguing Manners in Islam


A few really humbling posts in the blogosphere made me post these reminders.

Shaykh Suhaib Webb discusses the 10 manners of adab.

Br. Saqib talks about a story from the Seerah where Abu Bakr and Umar (radiallahu anhum) argued with each other.

And a few hadith I have discovered over the course of a few years of learning this issue. There is nothing that impairs one’s religion, diminishes one’s respectability, ends one’s happiness, or preoccupies one’s heart like arguing.

Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind. (Muslims & Bukhari)

“I guarantee a house in Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even when joking / for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” [Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم) – reported by Imam Abu Dawud]

Sa’eed bin Musayyeb says: Once the Prophet was sitting with his Companions, and one person used insulting words against Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him), causing him pain. But Abu Bakr remained silent. The person again used bitter words against Abu Bakr, and still Abu Bakr did not respond. The third time when this ignorant person hurt Abu Bakr with his tongue, Abu Bakr tried answering back.
At this point the Prophet got up. Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) asked him, “Are you displeased with me, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet replied, “No, but (when you remained silent) an angel came down from the heaven responding to this man’s talk. But the moment you started replying to that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down. And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting.” Abu Dawood 041 4878

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them

-“When an erstwhile guided people go astray, they are given contentiousness.” (Related by Ibn Hanbal, Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Mājja, on the authority of Abī Umāma)

– “Whoever sought knowledge for the purpose of using it to compete with the learned or showing ability to be contentious with stupid people, or to draw people’s attention to him, Allah will put him in hell.” (Authenticated by Al-Tarmidhī, on the relation of Ka‘b Ibn Mālik)

Subhana kallahumma wa bihamdika ash-haduana la illaha illa ant astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, Ameen.


  1. […] following hadith I posted before but now I think they have had a real effect on my heart. I restated some of them here to testify to […]

  2. Bismillah

    Hope you don’t mind me copying part of your article in my blog. I’ve quoted the source.
    JazakumuLlahu khayran

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