Posted by: Dawud Israel | February 18, 2009

Kharq’ul Adaat: Prevention or Struggle?

Bismillah, alhamdulilah, wa salat wa salam ala rasulullah

There are two main approaches to a sin or something harmful to one’s emaan:
1) Avoid it by prevention, meaning fasting or not coming near it at all, or having women wear burkahs
2) Deal with it’s presence but resist it, meaning eating less or dealing with women in the West.

The pitfall people have fallen into is to only advocate prevention- so you will hear shaykhs tell people to marry in order to deal with their desires. But, during their marriage, they still must control their urges to someone outside the marriage or must still discipline themselves in other ways, often ways that need meet the demands of marriage.

So it’s not realistic to ignore the aspect of dealing with the problem and struggling, because this can cause problems. One need only hear the stories of Saudi men who molest women as a result of the strict regulations.

Breaking the habits, (kharq’ul adaat) is extremely important. When a person breaks their sinful habits and how they behave with Allah, (kharq’l adat) then Allah changes how He acts towards them. This is how miracles happen and it’s because of these smaller struggles (in this case, say no to zina) and successes that some men and women become Awliya and beloved to God. Anyone can make a little tasbih, but for a person to have broken their sinful habits, is no doubt, a cause for Allah to grant a person blessings and bring them close to Him.

There is a hadith to the effect, ‘to say no to a sin, and to abstain from it is like performing a good deed.’ Again, anyone can just say Subhana Allah- and not to belittle a good deed here, but to resist a sin in that moment and time, that Allah has preordained, to be a challenge to you, is one of the rarest, most forgotten, most difficult, and probably THE most blessed good deed a person can do!

But we should also remember, “On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear – (Quran 2:286)

And just reflecting on that, whenever you get a test, whether it be zina (haram type of sex) or whatever that is challenging to you, Allah is also saying to you that, “Look, I tested you with this, because I KNOW and believe that YOU have the ability to overcome this and have My Jannah.” Allah is closer to us than our jugular vein, so He knows us better than we know ourselves.

I find that extremely encouraging, that when Allah puts a trial in front of us- it’s a manifestation of His belief in our abilities. And when we succeed at overcoming that fitnah and difficulty, in that act, we are speaking back to Him until the Day we meet Him. And as my friend said, no two relationships are the same and so Allah also does not have the same relationship with one of His creation as He does with another creation and tests each of us differently

So we should step up to the plate next time we are challenged.
Subhana kallahumma wa bihamdika ash-haduana la illaha illa ant astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, Ameen.


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