Bismillah, alhamdulillah, wa salat wa salam ala rasulullah
Lately, I’ve been going through some rough times. How it happened I’m not even sure and I doubt whether I did the right thing. But my faith was shaken, not because of anything in Islam- but rather in seeing the behavior of some brothers who are students of knowledge. I suppose it was because of this dua. It is in seeing those who are supposed to live Islam, ignore it- that so many abandon Islam. I understood I made mistakes, but while doing so thought to myself, “I have definitely crossed a line now…and they think I am totally wrong, but let me see how they treat me or what they will do.” Why did I do that? Well, I remembered this quote of Hudhayfa radiallahu anhu in my previous post and wanted to see what I could learn: “I knew that one who has no experiential knowledge of evil has none of good either.”
This is where I got a chance to see from the perspective of a not-so-practicing Muslim and was upset to see that the reality is Islam is like a mirage or an illusion. Islam is practice is, largely, dead. There is no resemblance of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam’s gentleness and adab with people who differ. There may be a great deal of knowledge but it’s like a betrayal because the “religious” have their own agenda, one that is totally different from that of the Nabi of Allah salallahu alayhi wasalam. They want to argue, they have their own complaints and want to rant, they have a point they want to get across, at any expense or they want to question everything you do…because they are holier than me, I should know better, but in reality, they should know better- because as wrong and as awful as I may be, the responsibility is on them. As the saying goes: “A halo needs to fall only a few inches to become a noose.”
They aren’t interested in guiding a person, if they were they would’ve clued in on how people work. The Quran says in preaching one should speak to them “in a way that is better”- yet many speak in a way that is worse.
There is a story of Imam Ahmad (rahimullah) when he would argue, he would fear that his words might lead the person he spoke to astray…yet, in speaking to this brother, he had no such concern- and the end result was a great deal of confusion and difficulty for me.
As a result, I wrote a great deal from what I learned and will be posting that later on but here will focus on how I overcame this difficulty.
I recalled Surah Ale Imran (174) and that when difficulty and insurmountable odds came against the Sahabas, their emaan increased and soared. I can’t relate to that except in remembering my summer morning runs…I remember the burn in my legs when I run up a long flight of stairs and instead of feeling tired…grow aggressive. The pain becomes a reason to fuel more energy and push harder.
And then I remembered the words of Sharaffuddin Maneri, a true Sufi, and a man whose letters Muslims should read- if only to learn how to speak and write in an articulate manner.
“All enjoy Allah’s graces, but confronting His violence is the work of the manly.” -Sharaffuddin Maneri
This was nothing but a trial and I needed to step up to the plate. And when I consciously did…then I felt a huge comfort in my heart. All the chaos disappared and there was focuse. No duas, no dhikr, just a remembering of some of the higher truths in Islam. If the fate of our religious is arrogance, then that puts a bigger responsibility on me now, because now I somewhat understand what the Sunnah means and how valuable it is to the guidance of the confused Muslim or non-Muslim.
Two more reminders came shortly after within an hour from some friends that only served to boost my spirit:
In the Quran Allah doesn’t tell us not to follow shaytaan, but rather He says, “not to follow in the footsteps of shaytaan.” And I remembered exactly how that arrogance applied to myself.
“The degree to which a person is helped and aided by Allah depends on the degree of his intention, drive, aim and hopes. Help from Allah comes to people in proportion to their drive, intention, hopes and fears, and failure comes to them in like manner.” -Ibn al-Qayyim
The stronger your drive, the greater the Help of Allah!
Subhana kallahumma wa bihamdika ash-haduana la illaha illa ant astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, Ameen.