Bismillah, alhamdulillah wa salat wa salam ala Rasulullah
When it comes to discussing controlling sexual urges most Muslims ignore discussion and quickly recommend the Prophetic advice of fasting. Although fasting and reducing consumption is by far the most effective way of conditioning ones body and spirit, to control sexual urges, there is no reason to limit the advice to that, especially in our day and age. This is important to investigate because some point out that when they are NOT fasting, they still have difficulty controlling their urges.
After doing some research I came across a number of herbal alternatives that reduce male libido. Some of these have been used by monks in the past, such as chasteberry, while others have reduced libido as a side-effect. Here are some herbs that have been known to help reduce male libido:
-American Black Willow
-Coca (not cocoa)
-White Pond Lily
There are also some drugs like Libidno and Androease, which are available but I think there is more risk and side-effects associated with them, since they play with ones testosterone/estrogen levels. Its might not be easy to find these herbs but its worth it. GNC sells Skullcap, but I found Valerian Root the easiest to find at a local pharmacy, Shoppers Drug Mart. I tested Valerian Root out (be warned: it realllly smells!) and from what I can tell so far, it works to completely drop your libido for about 6-8 hours and also make you somewhat sleepy (its intended use is as a sleep aid).
I haven’t heard Muslims discuss this option but its an easy and effective method with very little risk associated with it. Its important also to keep in mind that using these herbs over a prolonged period of time or mixing them with other herbs and medicines may create problems, so use them occassionally so that they retain their effectiveness and your body remains sensitive to their effects. Also it would be a good idea to talk to a doctor before using them, or at least do thorough research and reading on them.
William Shakespeare – Sonnet #129
The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy’d no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallowed bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit, and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
More resources on controlling lusts:
Cultivating Himma: Guidance in Dealing with the ‘Sex Arcade Society,’ Porn and Related Fitnahs